Some of Rutherfords aids
- I have benefitted by riding alone a long journey in giving that time to prayer.
- By abstinence and giving days to God.
- by praying for others; for by making an errand to God for them, I have gotten something for myself.
- I have been really confirmed, in many particulars, that God heareth prayers; and therefore I used to pray for anything, of how little importance soever.
- He enabled me to make no question that this way, which is mocked and nick-named, is the only way to Heaven.
From the letters of Samuel Rutherford
Favourite recent quote
To start this blog off, I figured I would re-post my favourite quote in the recent past. New quotes will appear after this Lord willing.
“oh the hourly dangers that we here walk in! Every sense and member is a snare; every creature, every mercy, and every duty, is a snare to us. We can scarcely open our eyes, but we are in danger of envying those above us; or despising those below us; of coveting the honours and riches of some, or beholding the rags and beggary of others with pride and unmercifulness. If we see bearuty, it is a bit to lust; if deformity, to loathing and disdain. How soon do slanderous reports, vain jests, wanton speeches, creep into the heart! How constant and stirring a watch does our appetite require! Have we comeliness and beauty? What fuel for pride! Are we deformed? What an occasion of repining! Have we strength of reason, and gifts of learning? O how prone to be puffed up, to hunt after applause, and despise our brethren! Are we unlearned? How apt then to despise what we have not! Are we in places of authority? How strong is the temptation to abuse our trust, make our will our law, and cut out all the enjoyments of others, but rules and model of our own interest and policy! Are we inferiors? How prone to grudge at others pre-eminence, and bring their actions to the bar of our judgment? Are we rich, and not too much exalted? Are we poor, and not discontented? Are we not lazy in our duties, or make a Christ of them? Not that God hath made all these things our snares, but through our own corruption they become so to us. Ourselves are the greatest snare to ourselves.” Richard Baxter—The Saint’s Everlasting Rest.”
The Affliction
1When first thou didst entice to thee my heart,
2 I thought the service brave;
3So many joys I writ down for my part,
4 Besides what I might have
5Out of my stock of natural delights,
6Augmented with thy gracious benefits.7I looked on thy furniture so fine,
8 And made it fine to me;
9Thy glorious household-stuff did me entwine,
10 And 'tice me unto thee.
11Such stars I counted mine: both heav'n and earth;
12Paid me my wages in a world of mirth.13What pleasures could I want, whose King I serv'd,
14 Where joys my fellows were?
15Thus argu'd into hopes, my thoughts reserv'd
16 No place for grief or fear.
17Therefore my sudden soul caught at the place,
18And made her youth and fierceness seek thy face.19At first thou gav'st me milk and sweetnesses;
20 I had my wish and way;
21My days were straw'd with flow'rs and happiness;
22 There was no month but May.
23But with my years sorrow did twist and grow,
24And made a party unawares for woe.25My flesh began unto my soul in pain,
26 "Sicknesses cleave my bones;
27Consuming agues dwell in ev'ry vein,
28 And tune my breath to groans."
29Sorrow was all my soul; I scarce believ'd,
30Till grief did tell me roundly, that I liv'd.31When I got health, thou took'st away my life,
32 And more, for my friends die;
33My mirth and edge was lost, a blunted knife
34 Was of more use than I.
35Thus thin and lean without a fence or friend,
36I was blown through with ev'ry storm and wind.37Whereas my birth and spirit rather took
38 The way that takes the town;
39Thou didst betray me to a ling'ring book,
40 And wrap me in a gown.
41I was entangled in the world of strife,
42Before I had the power to change my life.43Yet, for I threaten'd oft the siege to raise,
44 Not simp'ring all mine age,
45Thou often didst with academic praise
46 Melt and dissolve my rage.
47I took thy sweet'ned pill, till I came where
48I could not go away, nor persevere.49Yet lest perchance I should too happy be
50 In my unhappiness,
51Turning my purge to food, thou throwest me
52 Into more sicknesses.
53Thus doth thy power cross-bias me, not making
54Thine own gift good, yet me from my ways taking.55Now I am here, what thou wilt do with me
56 None of my books will show;
57I read, and sigh, and wish I were a tree,
58 For sure then I should grow
59To fruit or shade: at least some bird would trust
60 Her household to me, and I should be just.61Yet, though thou troublest me, I must be meek;
62 In weakness must be stout;
63Well, I will change the service, and go seek
64 Some other master out.
65Ah my dear God! though I am clean forgot,
66Let me not love thee, if I love thee not. [George Herbert]
About
Nothing much to tell. I’m walking a single solitary pilgrims walk, in England, that is not an easy one. I am a Calvinistic Covenanter Christian, My Autonomic Nervous system is failing slowly, which has led to severe disability, with an ultra rare disease than medics don’t even understand, often misdiagnose.and will no doubt kill me at some point. But, I trust the Lord to get me where I’m going. All glory to HIM.
The symptomology listed on the link, most porphyrics will only have most of those symptoms if in an acute attack. A few of us, with the ongoing, smouldering symptoms, that never go away, have most if not all of the symptom list, even when not in an acute attack, and are persistent and constant. Anyone who has ever been in the psychiactric system, diagnosed as this or that, even if physically well, should consider this illness could be responsible. King George III, the most famous porphyric, his sole symptom was “insanity.” Its so rare in part, because it’s massively under-diagnosed. But in making this illness known, when it struck me physically a few years ago, God vindicated me from every mis-diagnoses and bersmirchment upon me medically that has ever been made, and has made them all null and void.
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